Recently, a potential client and I had a conversation about their concern about ‘up-speak’. It had been pointed out to them by their partner, and was bothersome because they are preparing for a career shift and have interviews upcoming. They stated, “It’s important to get a handle on this because it’s not a good thing to do when interviewing, since they may think I don’t know what I’m talking about”
This is a very legitimate concern.
Up-speak is when a statement is said as if it was a question. Instead of using a neutral or downward pitch inflection for a statement, such as "I love the sunshine. the speaker goes up in pitch at the end of the statement, which we perceive as akin to the upward inflection of a question, as if "I love the sunshine?" (listen to my examples below!)
Some speakers do this without even realizing it, and it can disrupt communication intent as the listener may doubt what the speaker is saying, doubt their expertise, or not take them seriously. As you can imagine, in a job interview setting, conveying credibility is a key component.
Up-speak can be resolved in a fairly short time. There are some speaker trainers and voice coaches who will do a cursory technique to help the person reduce the frequency of up-speak. This falls into the precarious ‘quick fix or band-aid’ approach territory and can remain very surface-level.
Yet often, surface-level does not stamp out underlying factors, nor, elicit long-lasting change. Those of you who know me, (and those getting to know me!) will know that I am not here for band-aid approaches and I do not believe we need to be “fixed”, let alone expect an ingrained habitual way of speaking to disappear quickly.
Staying curious and open-minded, the potential client and I discussed what may be contributing to this feature in their way of speaking. It was revealed while recently working as a customer service representative in a toxic job, fielding lots of frustrations from customers, they felt difficulty speaking up for themselves felt themselves holding back from what they really wanted to say and feared the response of the listener.
I validated their experiences and asked them to consider what long-term consequence may occur if nothing changed:
They said, “Self doubt would persist”
Then, I asked them to consider what is a positive consequence of releasing the self-doubt by addressing the up-speak: They said “Well, if I was more conscious of the way I talk, there would be less questioning, and I would feel more authoritative, which is important to me”
The reasons for up-speak can be varied and unique to each person. They may doubt themselves, they may have been criticized for what they say or how they are saying it, they may just be nervous and their voice shifts intonation up when they don’t mean for it.
The way I approach this is from the sound of their voice, AND the underlying beliefs that may be lurking, and then ensure there is consistent practice in the speaking mode they desire.
This is a wonderful example where a goal like reducing up-speak and enhancing speaking power can happen in a supportive, in-depth, laser-focused container together, and can make all the difference in the speaker’s self-assuredness, and their livelihood when they ace the interview and land that new job!
P.S. A Vibrant Voice VIP Day may be an awesome fit for you! It’s a 3 hour intensive, followed by two additional sessions within 30 days, with unlimited Voxer/DM support – why? Because habit-formation is awesome & encourages long-term success!
Curious to learn more??? Email firstname.lastname@example.org and I’ll send along more details.
Remember, You & your voice are worthy!
If you're new to me, what a pleasure it is to have you here! If you know me and have been in my world for awhile, great to see you! I am honored to welcome into this new mode of communicating, and am eager to experience what unfolds in our dialogue.
Yes, I said dialogue.
Now you may be thinking, "this looks like a one-sided conversation to me." On the contrary, there is purpose-driven thoughtfulness and energetic intention to how I show up to these formats. Why?
I have you in mind. Just as you desire to get to know me and my mission, I desire to learn more about you. Our connection starts now, and evolves in new ways and various adventures. And, as with any new relationship, the stories, values, wins, learns, ways to work together, celebrations and insights that fill each communication encounter, must begin with a declaration of how loving-kind boundaries look and feel, in this present moment.
So, here you have it.
Loving boundaries, transparency and designing the life I desire requires improved communication.
Deeper understanding of who I am now, while honoring past versions, is important to me. Recognizing myself, my gifts, levels of energy and focus, and what is sustainable for me so that I can serve more, is part of the exploration. This declaration is from me, for me, and ever evolving.
Does this feel like a scary stretch? Yep, sure does. I will love myself through it.
Do I feel old urges to justify, over-explain, and make sure it comes across as ‘nice’, or to be liked? Yep.
Yet, I will not give into those urges as they are not reflective of the higher divine loving being I know resides within.
You know who has been able to experience that?
Folks who showed up!
When you bring your whole, messy, committed self, and I bring my whole, messy, dedicated self, I can guarantee incredible, inspiring and magical moments!
I am no longer available for people who don't honor communication expectations.
I am no longer available for folks not staying true to their word.
I'm calling in clients who are ready to bring their whole selves, ready to invest in themselves, ready to show up and do the work, ready to be encouraged, to be held accountable, ready to be deeply supported through the ebbs and flows, ready to be curious and grow in new ways.
I will hold compassionate space for where you are AND call you forward to the potential I already see in you, even if it gets uncomfortable. Especially then! So you can FEEL all the ways your belief in yourself can elevate who you are and what you are here to do!
I am no longer available for people who go M.I.A.; I get to have people in my life who respect me, see me, appreciate me, and honor the work and themselves enough to value what we create.
I am no longer available for people who are takers and energy-drainers; I get to protect my precious energy and create boundaries that feel amazing to me. Those who are ready to be with me in that way are always welcome.
I am no longer available for friends who don't reciprocate or are one-sided.
I am only available for conversation that light me up, nourish me and the other person.
I am only available for clearer boundaries and expectations, and delicious dialogue to ensure respect & transparency, even if disagreement.
I am only available for transparent, real talk. I get to interact with people who do not avoid, rather, who show up vulnerably, trusting they will be met with even more love and grace, while also activating their higher potential in doing so.
I am no longer available for people who are "not now, later"; I get to have clients who are ready now and willing to do what is needed to show up for themselves. I get to compassionately release those who are not ready, and remind them that when they are, I am here. I continue to believe in them, and I desire for their entrance into our container to be empowered by a leap of faith (NOT to initiate from a pain point, fear, or uncertainty). They are willing and feel the stretch of the unknown of what's coming!
I am only available to nurture those who truly align with the grander vision, and to magnetize potential clients who love the possibility of our journey together.
I am no longer available for feast/famine months. I desire and am worthy of a consistent, sustainable business, mission and lifestyle!
I am available for continued self-growth, expansion, to communicate even more clearly. There will be messy moments to be sure, and the words within our language may be insufficient at times. Yet it fuels and relieves me to know I am shedding and stretching...not to 'fix' any parts of me, rather, to BE fully in all parts of me.
I am no longer available for being 'palatable' in my ways of showing up. I can show my feisty, intimate, sassy, silly, sensual and spontaneous sides AND still be incredible at connecting, nurturing and loving on myself and others.
All weaved with the intentional thread of well-being, fortified by the belief in myself, sourced from the Divine Love of God who is in, and through and vibrating us all.
This foundation is paramount to supporting and shining a light on YOU and your gifts, as I use my superpowers of calling you forward into your grandest ways of Being, so that we can thrive as the next levels of our best selves.
My voice is worthy.
You and your voice are worthy.
Again, incredibly honored you are here, and now in true turn-taking style, share with me some of your aligned, non-negotiable boundaries that help you tap into your power!
Voice Activator. Lover of the Larynx and Lake Life. On a mission to elevate women's self-worth & wellness via their voice. Delightful daughter, 1 MiniSchnauzer, and occasionally dabbles in professional voice-over (Me, not the dog). Always reminding you that You and Your Voice Are Worthy!